Before I'm accused of being a Negative Nancy, I feel obligated to post this disclaimer; I am not a pessimist, nor an optimist. I am a realist. I don't see the glass as half full, or half empty. I simply acknowledge that there exists a glass and it has liquid in it. Over the weekend my roommies and I got "The Ugly Truth" on Demand... and saying that it fell short of my expectations is an understatement. With a title like "The Ugly Truth," I imagined that it would be dark, slightly twisted, and real - with a REAL ending, not this schmaltzy, over done 'happily-ever-after' crap. I thought it just might be the ugly truth.
Sigh.
As a realist I find it hard to willingly suspend my disbelief when the evidence presented to me doesn't add up to said glass and said liquid.
Take, for example, "The Breakfast Club," arguably one of the best coming-of-age stories to ever grace the technicolor screen. It's so real and believable... right up until the last fifteen minutes, when the Princess ends up with the Criminal, the Jock ends up with the Art Girl, and the Geek is left to write the essay (okay, the Geek writing the essay is the ONLY believable part of the ending). That wouldn't have happened in real life. In real life, the Princess would have ended up with the Jock while continuing to snub the Criminal, the Art Girl would have ended up with the Geek and the two of them would have written the essay together, while the Criminal would have walked home, alone, without the earring in his ear, because he doesn't need any of them - he's got his own friends. That is the ugly truth.Right?
What about Janeane Garofalo as a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac in "The Truth about Cats and Dogs"? She thinks she's too ugly to get the man of her dreams, so she has her hot, yet vapid, neighbor pretend to be her. The object of Garofalo's affections figures it out, but in the end, everything goes Janeane's way. That's a load of horse pucky! In real life, Hotty McPerfectguy would have realized the twisted plot of these two women, thought they were BOTH insane, and married the dental hygienist that his friend's girlfriend told him he "just had to meet."Right? Ugly. Truth.
I'm not saying that happy endings aren't wonderful when they're used correctly! "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" - heartbreaking (in a lovely way) film. "Amelie" - gorgeous from start to finish. But these are different characters, with different plots! They are much more three-dimensional than the typical boy-meets-girl-boy/girl-screws-something-up-but-redeems-themselves-near-the-end-of-the-film-just-in-time-for-a-"you-had-me-at-hello"-moment.
Sometimes things get too screwed up to be fixed - and that is the ugly truth. "Chasing Amy," one of Kevin Smith's most thoughtfully funny, and completely real films grabs on to that concept and shakes it furiously, like a puppy chewing on a Manolo Blahnik. Holden's insecurity gets the best of him and stands in the way of him experiencing the greatest love of his life. Instead of Smith writing a happy-go-lucky ending, with Alyssa forgiving Holden for his folly, he gives us a "thems-the-breaks" ending, with the two love-birds walking away from each other, REGARDLESS of how hard it may be.
THAT'S AN ENDING!
Enough with the happily-ever-afters! Enough with everything coming together perfectly (after a tasteful falling-in-love montage) in under two hours. Give me some substance! Give me something real.
Give me the ugly truth.
