My Beef: Snakes in the Grass

It's hard to avoid snakes while walking on the trail of life. They can be everywhere, and you need to be on guard. It's an unfortunate reality; there are those people in the world who get through life and work their way up the ladder by throwing others under the bus.

Remember, the squeaky wheel may get the grease, but it's the worst wheel that's the loudest.

A friend of mine is having problems with a co-worker... if the two of them have successful projects at work his co-worker is the first to gloat about how he "did such a great job." The moment something goes wrong and their meetings aren't well received, he is also the first to run screaming to the higher-ups and start whisperings around the company that the reason they didn't do so well is because my friend "dropped the ball." It amazes me that this has gone on for as long as it has; after all, everyone recognizes this man as a coiled, venomous, creature waiting to strike at anyone. When it comes down to it, this man isn't creative nor talented, and he's grasping at every blade of grass to keep his job and he doesn't care who he has to bad-mouth to keep it.

Alex Karras once said, "It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more 'manhood' to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind."

My Beef: Gas Prices

I hate to be another person complaining about gas prices these days. It's sort of like complaining about the cold weather in Chicago. Asking, "Is it cold enough for you?" may get you shot.

It's interesting how times (and gas) have changed since I first started driving. Going for a ride with friends when I was sixteen was how we spent some of our beautiful spring evenings - choosing the long and scenic route, taking in everything that just sprung to life after a long and grey winter.

Now I calculate every turn, every stop, every errand. I think we are way passed the point of conservation. We have depleted HALF of the world's oil supply, and with the amount of cars on the road now (as opposed to when the first Ford was introduced), I fear we are going to go through the other half before we are able to find an alternative fuel source.

And I will see that in my lifetime.

There's only so much I can do in my home to conserve gas. I really don't use my heat (at this time of year, I don't have to). My appliances are electric... but it doesn't matter if I choose to line-dry of machine-dry my clothes, it doesn't fill my car's gas tank.

If you have yet to see the documentary "Who Killed the Electric Car?" I suggest you rent it.

On a side note. Why, when I do a Google Image search of "gas pumps," I get this as one of my first pictures:

Don't stare at it too long. It might eat your soul.

My Beef: His name is Christian Bale

With the movie "Public Enemies" being filmed on home turf (in the Columbus, WI/Beaver Dam, WI area), there is so much talk of Johnny Depp.

Sure, Johnny Depp is in the film.

Sure, Johnny Depp is a fine actor - probably one of the best actors to grace the technicolor screen.

But.

An actor of (at LEAST) the same caliber shares the top billing of this film. His name is Christian Bale, and he has managed to remain successfully below the radar since we were first introduced to him compliments of Steven Spielberg in "Empire of the Sun." (1987)

Bale hasn't fallen in to the "bumbling-romantic-comedyesque-hasn't-this-guy-been-in-every-movie-this-year-and-aren't'-we-sick-of-him-yet" hell. Instead, he has chosen his roles very wisely, for example:

• Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho" (2000)

Based on the best seller, Bale portrays a man who is the epitome of all things that I loathe... the murderous tendencies aside. Bateman is snobbish, cruel, self-centered - picture every go-getter from the eighties ready to screw anyone that gets in his way. He pulls it off with a sense of humor, and made me want to see more of what he could do... which brings me to...

• John Preston in "Equilibrium" (2002)

In a futuristic world where human emotion is illegal and anything that can provoke feeling is eradicated, why go on? John Preston, a cleric who's job it is to destroy this "contraband" has decided to stop dosing and start feeling. I was blown away by his performance. If his character touched something for the first time, I felt it for the first time. Moving. Period.

• Trevor Reznik in "The Machinist" (2004)

Should I ever get the chance to interview Bale, my first question would be about the weight he lost to play this role. Normally seen as a very fit person these days, Bale's body transformed in to nothing but skin and bone. His character in this film has a bout of insomnia... a bout that has lasted a year. The cause of his unease is revealed throughout the film, and, since I'm not a spoiler, I won't go further - all I will say is that if you are a fan of mind-bending psychological movies that make you want to discuss the film with everyone you meet, watch it.

Oh yeah. And he's Batman.

There are few actors that will not let me down, and Christian Bale is one of them. I can rely on him to constantly push himself to new limits and take on roles that other actors are too intimidated to try. He hasn't let me down yet.

Well... I'll let "Reign of Fire" go. Everyone deserves a Mulligan.

Check out the amazing career of Christian Bale: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000288/

My Beef: Mobile Phone Use

Ok, so we all know that technology is constantly evolving and that in order to keep with the times, you have to evolve right along with it. But can't we PLEASE remember to bring our common courtesy along for the ride?

Take mobile phone use, for instance. There are many different types of bad mobile phone users out there... all of which I will detail for you now:

The Attachment Person: The guy who can't go FIVE seconds without texting someone, checking his voicemail, checking his email, surfing his MySpace/Facebook/Match.com, or making a quick call.
· How to identify: You would think he has a bionic ear the way he can hear his phone beep from across a crowded bar hosting a live band on St. Patrick’s Day. His face is more tan than the rest of his body thanks to the glow from the menu screen on his phone.
· Why this is annoying: If you have set up time to spend with me, SPEND IT WITH ME! I am a busy person and being interrupted CONSTANTLY so that you can check to see if anyone more important than me has called is rude. Spend the time with me – in person, a real human voice not bounced down from satellite – not on the phone.

The Soccer Mom: While there’s nothing wrong with driving the kids to baseball practice and cello rehearsal, there is something wrong with trying to dig for a phone at the bottom of your purse while navigating six lanes of traffic.
· How to identify: At first glance you would assume the driver in front of you in drunk, but with the presence of children in the car, the window clings proudly displaying that “Skyler” is the cheerleader/Dakota” is the ballerina, and the fact that it’s four in the afternoon, you suddenly realize that the Soccer Mom in front of you has lost her phone somewhere in the depths of her Mary Poppinsesqe bag.
· Why this is annoying: Danger factor aside; this is my inner (and sometimes outer) monologue when following a person like this: “Oh, my God! Pick a lane!”, “You have a green light, you can go now!”, “Wow, thanks for suddenly making that sharp right turn and having me come close to rear-ending you!”, “You know, I’d switch lanes, but she’s sort of taking up both at the moment.” I know that being a full time mom is tough. There are so many things that have to get done and very little time to do it, but, please, for the safety of your family, and the sanity of other drivers, keep your phone handy (with a wireless device). Oh… and stop playing the latest Kidz Bop CD so loud I can hear it in my car. Thanks.

The Foreign Language Speakers: These are the people that choose to hold complete conversations using text shorthand.
· How to identify: English becomes their second language, and they struggle to construct complete sentences in everyday situations.
· Why this is annoying: Why? WHY?!?!?!?! “I.D.K.” is not shorthand for “I don’t know.” You see, making something shorter suggests that you use less syllables, and last I checked, both forms, the English, and the Unintelligible, were both three syllables. When I get texts or EMAILS from people who write like this: “we r @ js c u l8r?”, I have to pull out my trusty Orphan Annie decoder ring and take a half an hour deciphering the message. How hard is it to text, “Drink more Ovaltine”?

Final summation: although we live in a fast-paced world, let's all agree to slow it down a little and have courtesy for one another. Put the phone away when out with friends. Have the decency to tell the person you are talking to to hang on a second while you say hello to the cashier at the grocery store. Keep your hands at ten and two, and get where you are going safely.

It's simple.